Off The Shelf Advertising; Honestly, Has it really Come To This?

Last week I came across a wonderful billboard in Singapore for an advertising agency that read; " A company that stops advertising to save money, is the same as a man who stops clocks to save time"

Bravo, here was an agency that was actually telling the truth!

Advertising. It’s one of those budget items that accountants and CFO's hate with a passion convinced that it does nothing for the bottom line. At the mere hint of a downturn these self - same beige people convene and turn their combined attention to the list of things to cut. Advertising has the misfortune of beginning with A and therefore suffers the worst of the barrage. Already skinny budgets by the end of the meeting will look positively anorexic.

I recently met up with an old advertising partner. We were both creative directors for years at different agencies but our shared passion was driven by what we perhaps pretentiously called, 'brilliant creative " Our client's brands were precious, revered and worshipped, and, as brand custodians we felt we had an awesome responsibility to grow those brands to the point where consumers thought it was the best thing since the proverbial sliced bread.

I reminded my friend of those long held beliefs only for him to give me a pitying look and told me to grow up! (I thought I already had) “It doesn't work like that anymore,” he admonished. “You are such a dinosaur!”

On his ever present iPad he opened a few sites where, if one chooses, one can now simply 'select' a brand identity that apparently will fit perfectly with your business model no matter where you live. His eyes grew wide, his voice rising in timbre as he raised his arms, prophet- like and cried out, “Globalization! I have seen the light, so let us consult the Google Oracle."

His reverently scrolled down, selected a site and, appearing like magic were logos, brand manuals, strategic plans, and marketing strategies, tailored media plans that appeared on the screen. Everything a company needed to establish a foothold in the local or global marketplace could be loaded into the cute graphic of a shopping cart.

Now, the fact that the marketing plan was probably written by a fellow living in Boise, Idaho for a Finance Company in Singapore seemed to be irrelevant!He scrolled through to the logo aisle he almost genuflected as if he had stumbled upon the Holy Grail. " Look", he enthused, " It’s like the Walmart of logos!"

Each individual product from logo to media strategy carried a price tag and once the credit card details were remitted, the entire corporate identity was yours to brand your new tire shop, pizzeria, video store, or a new range of biscuits. No mess, no fuss, even though the entire package was probably created in Lagos, Helsinki, Kiev or wherever, “tailor made”for a business in Wellington, New Zealand!

Just a logo right? Just a brand? Wrong. Your brand is probably more precious now than it has ever been. Treat it with contempt or indifference and it will retaliate by attracting no customers and send you broke. Furthermore, it will go about this task with gusto!

An off the shelf purchase for a corporate identity is the NOT the same as buying a pair of new shoes! " But wait,' my companion shouted, sensing my growing sense of disquiet " There's more!" A few taps on the screen and another site appears.

For the CFO's and accountants this section of the advertising process was right up there with watching online porn and possibly equally orgasmic.

Here’s how it works:

Put your brand out to 'pitch'. Offer ... lets say, a $1000 for a complete Brand Profile, media strategy and a business plan. Wait a few days; make your selection from the 'pitches' submitted. Pay the winner and, Viola! There you go. That pesky, and previously expensive branding put to bed with a budget trimmed to just a thousand bucks. Then it’s off you go to make your fame and fortune. CFO's are deliriously happy when discovering their advertising 'costs' have virtually been eliminated but be prepared for his or her response, which in all likelihood will be, “why were we paying those creative wankers all that money for all those years when we now get this for a thousand bucks?"

I left my old friend and took a walk in a park.

I came across an old lady sitting on a bench feeding a flock of pigeons gathered at her feet. From time to time she would reach into her brown paper bag and toss a few breadcrumbs to the ever -growing flock. They squawked, scrambled and fought over the meager offerings, some lucky, others not so, beaten aside in the crush to feed.

Looking closely at the flock, I swear, one of those pigeons looked suspiciously like that fellow from Boise, Idaho!!!