Last week, I had the misfortune to waste a perfectly good 20 minutes reading an online an article in the Sydney Morning Herald bemoaning the plight of the retail sector in Australia. 

This time, the whinge was aimed squarely at Australia Post for having the gall to assist those pesky blighters who run online stores in getting their parcels delivered to customers in a timely manner. The article’s vitriol was not just restricted to the hapless post office; it also had a go at Visa and e Bay for being in cahoots with the on- line bandits. 

On -line retailing it would seem is rather a hot topic in retail land in the Land of Oz as the sector is, so the article informed me, in the worst shape it’s been for 50 years! The industry as a whole turned to the nation's a biggest retail lobby group who apparently strode out like fearless warriors to bat on behalf of the crippled industry.  Their bold strategy was to take the plight of the poor retail souls to the Productivity Commission by way of a vacuous, ill conceived, " it's not fair " argument.

Apart from it being a load of absolute twaddle, it contained not one iota of punctuation!

Their argument read;

" As a statutory body it is appropriate for Australia Post to explain to the Productivity Commission and the retail sector how its statutory objectives can be reconciled with the practices that will have the effect of facilitating the growth of foreign online retailers at the expense of Australian retailers with consequences for business viability and job opportunities in Australia."

Australian retailers, both big and small, must feel comforted having a lobby group as eloquent and dynamic as the one they have batting for them!

It's glaringly obvious to all that, with that sort muscle retailers should have absolutely no trouble in stemming the hemorrhaging after a presentation of such passion to illuminate their current dilemma and ultimately their future fate. As a strategy it was akin to telling tales on someone you are jealous of.

To reassure myself sure that retail had not passed on when I was away, I recently took a journey to that temple of consumerism THE APPLE STORE on one of my increasingly infrequent journeys to Australia.

This particular emporium is located in the centre of a vast, monolithic shopping mall where acres of marble corridors lead you past gilded stores selling brands that, if the Sydney Morning Herald is to be believed, apparently the buying public no longer wants.

Mind you, I have to concur, as the stores seemed to be populated by sales assistants straightening large piles of T-shirts and jeans into ever-neater piles.

Then. .... There it was...The Holy Grail!

A bright, back lit, white, forty year old logo dominated the huge glass doors beckoning like a siren from the sea, urging passers by to worship at the altar of gorgeous, slick, ingenious and sexy.

It's crowded.  

Loyal consumers aged eight to what seemed like eighty were engaged in earnest conversations with blue T shirted assistants who seem to float around like neon beacons wearing impossibly happy smiles and clutching i Pads.

A floating blue shirt immediately glides up to me on entry, asks what it is I desire and escorts me to my  'concierge' who, I am told will look after me. My details are duly checked on her i Pad and I am led willingly to "The Genius Bar,” asked to take a seat and informed that Izzy, my ‘personal genius’, would attend to me in no time at all.

Young men and women staff the busy bar, dispensing advice, hints and problem solving solutions like attentive Samaritans on the road to Damascus. My problem (no doubt of my own doing, in clogging up my Mac) proved a bit of a puzzle for Izzy and she told me that the head genius would have to 'peek inside the software’.'

This would take perhaps 40 minutes.

I didn’t mind, Izzy was a delight and doing all in her power to help me.... the customer!  I wandered around the store eavesdropping on well attended tutorials, conducted by genial, geniuses showing attentive 50 + seniors how to make best use of their I Pad or I Phones or any other Apple device for that matter.

Apple communicates in glorious simplicity at every level, be it in store, on line or on their ergonomically designed packaging .You wont find lofty tech diatribe here. Words are kept to a brilliant minimum knowing you have no time to waste.

Apple VALUES you as a customer; they want their products to add the magic of technology, and what you can do with it to your life. They appreciate you taking the time to visit their stores and make it an experience you want to repeat time and time again.

I'll end this piece of unabashed adoration by saying that after just 40 minutes my i Phone ‘ pinged’ and a message duly appeared to tell me that all was well. I was invited to return to the Genius Bar where someone would be waiting for me.

  Izzy was indeed waiting and explained that my trusty Mac had undergone the equivalent of a gastric software colostomy. She shook my hand, bade me farewell and invited me to return any time, as she, or another genius would be delighted to help me.

The cost?

Zero.

The Experience?

Delightful.

Apple doesn’t have to employ verbose lobby groups to help them; they are simply practicing the age- old craft of retailing!

And don’t they do it well.